Hi everybody.I got this from a popular Nigerian blog so I decided to share it on my blog
Thank God for using u to create this forum.Reading Ms k's diary n pple's
DV encounters has consoled me and given me this courage to speak out.I
dnt ve friends cos my hubby doesn't encourage it feels they will tell me
what to do.I started confiding in my mum lately cos I developed BP n
she was worried what could have caused it n I had to open up τ̲̅ȍ her
on what I have been passing thru 4 like 9yrs now.
Am 29 n ma hubby is 41 n we ve bin married 4
9yrs with 3kids.4 those years he has beaten me like 3 times bt his
verbal,emotional n sexual abuse is more like been beaten.initially I was
scared of him cos his anger was like an attack τ̲̅ȍ A̷̷̴̐ point that I
was always struggling τ̲̅ȍ please him.He treats me like A̷̷̴̐
housemaid instead of A̷̷̴̐ wife n I dare nt refuse him if he wants sex
cos in his culture A̷̷̴̐ woman is nt supposed τ̲̅ȍ refuse her husband
sex cos he paid her dowry n if she does he will neva touch her till she
appeases him which smtimes involves elders frm the family.so with that
in mind I neva refused n if I gv excuse of having Stomachache inorder
τ̲̅ȍ avoid,him he will nt talk τ̲̅ȍ me 4 A̷̷̴̐ week n he will make sure
that those times am miserable.any little misunderstanding we ve he will
tell me the history of my family.
how am supposed τ̲̅ȍ be
grateful he married me if not I will be rottening in my fathers house by
now.my aunties married late like in their late 30's,sme early 40's
while sme ve given marriage A̷̷̴̐ shot n gave up.bt I wasn't even in
A̷̷̴̐ hurry τ̲̅ȍ get married cos I wanted τ̲̅ȍ get an education hv
A̷̷̴̐ job b4 doin so.Bt I was 17 wen I met my hubby n he was 28 n A̷̷̴̐
corper at that time.the relationship was jst platonic cos thr was no
Canal knowledge of each other .
he was serving n was also into
building contracts n was handling A̷̷̴̐ project for my aunt that was how
we met.He proposed 3yrs later n I felt I had known him all my life n
being my first I didn't need anyone τ̲̅ȍ tell me he was right for
me.
As the yrs wnt by the
union turned from being enjoyed τ̲̅ȍ being endured.The cheating was
unbearable n the worst part of it he tells me his sexcapades like am
A̷̷̴̐ friend.if I manage τ̲̅ȍ ve A̷̷̴̐ friend he ends up sleeping with
them τ̲̅ȍ show me am better off without them.Things went Bad that he
stopped caring for my needs,how I felt......he kind of starting moulding
me the way he wants n I kind of started doin all τ̲̅ȍ please him while
I was on my own metamorphosing into what I was nt jst τ̲̅ȍ please
him.people whr seeing the changes n was complaining bt I felt they whr
interfering cos τ̲̅ȍ me I had peace.
I went frm weaves τ̲̅ȍ
kehinde young-Harry cos that was his style of hw A̷̷̴̐ wife n African
woman shld look like.I had τ̲̅ȍ wash the car,iron his clothes n make
sure breakfast or dinner is served b4 7am n 7pm respectively.Along the
line his younger brother came τ̲̅ȍ live with us n life became more
unbearable.
The brother became A̷̷̴̐ bone of contention
adding τ̲̅ȍ what I had bin goin thru.He felt it was his brother's place
so he had same right.I forgot τ̲̅ȍ mention my hubby is from the
middle-belt n am from the east.my nt understanding the customs according
τ̲̅ȍ them also became A̷̷̴̐ struggle.τ̲̅ȍ cut the long story short I
finally enterd the university n am in my 400level.I had A̷̷̴̐ diploma
though bt τ̲̅ȍ me Ȋ̝̊̅† wasn't enough n I also felt if I had τ̲̅ȍ leave
the marriage I needed A̷̷̴̐ back up.And what prompted my decision after
all dis years τ̲̅ȍ move on with my life was last year he had A̷̷̴̐
contract in one of the states n at that point I was pregnant almost sme
months due.Even at that point I never failed in my duties as A̷̷̴̐ wife.
Bt
at the end of the 4mnths contract another lady was pregnant for him.God
in his infinite mercies saw me through the whole ordeal cos after I had
my baby I bleed 4 like 3months b4 I recovered.coming out from that
another shocker was waiting for me.
my 18yrs old cousin who was
staying with me was already sleeping with him.He denied Ȋ̝̊̅† all n
claimed the girl had bin trying τ̲̅ȍ seduce him bt she said he forced
her into sleeping with him or no furthering of her education.
Eve sang"Love is blind bt Ȋ̝̊̅† can take over your mind"bt mine changed
who ï was,Ȋ̝̊̅† drowned me.I tried keeping A̷̷̴̐ diary bt mine was read
in front of the church elders who condemned the act of keeping A̷̷̴̐
diary by A̷̷̴̐ wife as against the marriage institution says God frowns
at Ȋ̝̊̅† cos we re one body n nt supposed τ̲̅ȍ keep such grudges.Guess
they whr blinded by his generosity.outside he is percieved as
good,generous n kind hearted man.Nobody will ever biliv me if they heard
the other part of his life or what I ve bin thru with him.
He
takes care of his kids n family well bt me I always hear"u re A̷̷̴̐
nobody"u can't do without me"No man wȊ̝̊̅ℓℓ look at u after 3kids"u shld
be grateful I married u if nt u for Dεγ Dεγ look 4 husband men for don
fuck u tire".these days when he starts I help him complete the rest cos
Ȋ̝̊̅† has become A̷̷̴̐ norm.someone told me that if he is taking care of
the kids I shld jst endure all I ve been thru n stay since I will soon
be out of school,get A̷̷̴̐ job n start taking care of my needs.Another
said I jst also have an affair τ̲̅ȍ pay him back bt I neva considered
that as an option.
My question now is
getting out of school n having A̷̷̴̐ job is Ȋ̝̊̅† enough reason τ̲̅ȍ
stay considering all I have been through.my mum thinks its beta than
τ̲̅ȍ start taking anti-retro viral drugs at an early age.what do your
readers think?
Thank u
Stella for this opportunity τ̲̅ȍ use your blog τ̲̅ȍ seek advice from
your readers n Ƭћǟπƙs for agreeing τ̲̅ȍ publish this am utmost
grateful.''
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