Thursday, 15 August 2013

                      Hi everybody.I got this from a popular Nigerian blog so I decided to share it on my blog

Thank God for using u to create this forum.Reading Ms k's diary n pple's DV encounters has consoled me and given me this courage to speak out.I dnt ve friends cos my hubby doesn't encourage it feels they will tell me what to do.I started confiding in my mum lately cos I developed BP n she was worried what could have caused it n I had to open up τ̲̅ȍ  her on what I have been passing thru 4 like 9yrs now.        


   Am 29 n ma hubby is 41 n we ve bin married 4 9yrs with 3kids.4 those years he has beaten me like 3 times bt his verbal,emotional n sexual abuse is more like been beaten.initially I was scared of him cos his anger was like an attack τ̲̅ȍ  A̷̷̴̐ point that I was always struggling τ̲̅ȍ  please him.He treats me like A̷̷̴̐ housemaid instead of A̷̷̴̐ wife n I dare nt refuse him if he wants sex cos in his culture A̷̷̴̐ woman is nt supposed τ̲̅ȍ  refuse her husband sex cos he paid her dowry n if she does he will neva touch her till she appeases him which smtimes involves elders frm the family.so with that in mind I neva refused n if I gv excuse of having Stomachache inorder τ̲̅ȍ  avoid,him he will nt talk τ̲̅ȍ me 4 A̷̷̴̐ week n he will make sure that those times am miserable.any little misunderstanding we ve he will tell me the history of my family.


how am supposed τ̲̅ȍ  be grateful he married me if not I will be rottening in my fathers house by now.my aunties married late like in their late 30's,sme early 40's while  sme ve given marriage A̷̷̴̐ shot n gave up.bt I wasn't even in A̷̷̴̐ hurry τ̲̅ȍ  get married cos I wanted τ̲̅ȍ get an education hv A̷̷̴̐ job b4 doin so.Bt I was 17 wen I met my hubby n he was 28 n A̷̷̴̐ corper at that time.the relationship was jst platonic cos thr was no Canal knowledge of each other .

he was serving n was also into building contracts n was handling A̷̷̴̐ project for my aunt that was how we met.He proposed 3yrs later n I felt I had known him all my life n being my first I didn't need anyone τ̲̅ȍ  tell me he was right for me.                              


As the yrs wnt by the union turned from being enjoyed τ̲̅ȍ  being endured.The cheating was unbearable n the worst part of it he tells me his sexcapades like am A̷̷̴̐ friend.if I manage τ̲̅ȍ  ve A̷̷̴̐ friend he ends up sleeping with them τ̲̅ȍ  show me am better off without them.Things went Bad that he stopped caring for my needs,how I felt......he kind of starting moulding me the way he wants n I kind of started doin all τ̲̅ȍ  please him while I was on my own metamorphosing into what I was nt jst τ̲̅ȍ  please him.people whr seeing the changes n was complaining bt I felt they whr interfering cos τ̲̅ȍ  me I had peace.


I went frm weaves τ̲̅ȍ kehinde young-Harry cos that was his style of hw A̷̷̴̐ wife n African woman shld look like.I had τ̲̅ȍ  wash the car,iron his clothes n make sure breakfast or dinner is served b4 7am n 7pm respectively.Along the line his younger brother came τ̲̅ȍ  live with us n life became more unbearable.


The brother became A̷̷̴̐ bone of contention adding τ̲̅ȍ  what I had bin goin thru.He felt it was his brother's place so he had same right.I forgot τ̲̅ȍ  mention my hubby is from the middle-belt n am from the east.my nt understanding the customs according τ̲̅ȍ  them also became A̷̷̴̐ struggle.τ̲̅ȍ  cut the long story short I finally enterd the university n am in my 400level.I had A̷̷̴̐ diploma though bt τ̲̅ȍ me Ȋ̝̊̅† wasn't enough n I also felt if I had τ̲̅ȍ  leave the marriage I needed A̷̷̴̐ back up.And what prompted my decision after all dis years τ̲̅ȍ  move on with my life was last year he had A̷̷̴̐ contract in one of the states n at that point I was pregnant almost sme months due.Even at that point I never failed in my duties as A̷̷̴̐ wife.

Bt at the end of the 4mnths contract another lady was pregnant for him.God in his infinite mercies saw me through the whole ordeal cos after I had my baby I bleed 4 like 3months b4 I recovered.coming out from that another shocker was waiting for me.

my 18yrs old cousin who was staying with me was already sleeping with him.He denied Ȋ̝̊̅† all n claimed the girl had bin trying τ̲̅ȍ  seduce him bt she said he forced her into sleeping with him or no furthering of her education. 
      Eve sang"Love is blind bt Ȋ̝̊̅† can take over your mind"bt mine changed who ï was,Ȋ̝̊̅† drowned me.I tried keeping A̷̷̴̐ diary bt mine was read in front of the church elders who condemned the act of keeping A̷̷̴̐ diary by A̷̷̴̐ wife as against the marriage institution says God frowns at Ȋ̝̊̅† cos we re one body n nt supposed τ̲̅ȍ  keep such grudges.Guess they whr blinded by his generosity.outside he is percieved as good,generous n kind hearted man.Nobody will ever biliv me if they heard the other part of his life or what I ve bin thru with him.

He takes care of his kids n family well bt me I always hear"u re A̷̷̴̐ nobody"u can't do without me"No man wȊ̝̊̅ℓℓ look at u after 3kids"u shld be grateful I married u if nt u for Dεγ Dεγ look 4 husband men for don fuck u tire".these days when he starts I help him complete the rest cos Ȋ̝̊̅† has become A̷̷̴̐ norm.someone told me that if he is taking care of the kids I shld jst endure all I ve been thru n stay since I will soon be out of school,get A̷̷̴̐ job n start taking care of my needs.Another said I jst also have an affair τ̲̅ȍ  pay him back bt I neva considered that as an option.                   

  My question now is getting out of school n having A̷̷̴̐ job is Ȋ̝̊̅† enough reason τ̲̅ȍ  stay considering all I have been through.my mum thinks its beta than τ̲̅ȍ  start taking anti-retro viral drugs at an early age.what do your readers think?                                      
     Thank u Stella for this opportunity τ̲̅ȍ  use your blog τ̲̅ȍ  seek advice from your readers n Ƭћǟπƙs for agreeing τ̲̅ȍ  publish this am utmost grateful.''



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